What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You.
Copypasta, but worthy. - - - -What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You. Tears For Fears: You have used whiteout on a pair of white loafers. Art of Noise: You have been paid to be furniture at a party. Pat Benatar: You have had three or more Superball bruises at one time. Air Supply: You have punched an arcade game hard enough to injure yourself. Eddie Money: You have eaten several Shrinky-Dinks on purpose. Bryan Adams: Your hair smells faintly like barbecue sauce. Dexy’s Midnight Runners: Your shower smells like Skittles and unfiltered cigarettes. Dead or Alive: Your pet smells like Goldschlager. Tangerine Dream: You have a half-full can of Sanka at the back of your cupboard. Devo: You have dissected a Nintendo game. Simple Minds: You have tasted a scented pen. Kajagoogoo: You have used AquaNet in self-defense. Limahl: You have used Nair in self-defense. Naked Eyes: You have almost been tricked into eating silly string on a saltine. Gary Numan: You own more than one pair of sock garters. Mike and the Mechanics: You have thrown a Rolodex at a raccoon or skunk. Peter Gabriel: You know what Fimo tastes like. Roxette: You have injured yourself with a Q-Tip. Madonna: Your bedroom smells like Midori. B-52s: Your laundry room smells like Midori. Richard Marx: You have woken up to a dog licking your hair. Wham!: You have made nachos while on ecstasy. The Cure: You have several bracelets or rings you cannot remove. Berlin: The last book you read used “countenance” as a verb. This Mortal Coil: You know the act, scene and line that “this mortal coil” comes from. Billy Idol: You own a piece of clothing that involves both argyle and leather. Robert Palmer: You have used “argyle” as a verb. Tommy Tutone: You have attempted to use a Polaroid picture as an ID. Rick Astley: You have used a hairnet as a handbag. Bangles: You have chewed gum while delivering a keynote speech or eulogy. Psychedelic Furs: You have worn sunglasses through an entire tooth cleaning. The English Beat: You have injured yourself while doing the Electric Slide. General Public: You have injured yourself while doing the Centipede. Madness: You have injured several bystanders while doing the Centipede. Men at Work: You wear shorts with boots at least once a week. Eurythmics: You have lost a mood ring in a hot tub. The Smiths: You have read aloud to a hamster, ferret, or turtle. Joy Division: You have been bitten by a cat while trying to dress it in period costume. New Order: You own several fish tanks but no fish. A Flock of Seagulls: You have destroyed a calculator watch in anger. Men Without Hats: You have accidentally dropped a pager into a tub of frozen yogurt. Nena: You have put a cigarette out in a piece of birthday cake. John Cougar Mellencamp: You have put a cigarette out in an industrial-sized jar of relish. Loverboy: You have eaten relish as a meal. Rick Springfield: Your wallet weighs over a pound. Falco: You have killed a fly with a program from Cats. Michael Jackson: You have exploded a beanbag chair by landing on it. Huey Lewis and the News: You are hanging from monkey bars in two or more successive class pictures. The Police: You have shattered a Rubik’s Cube with a rock. Sting: You have tried and failed to shatter a Rubik’s Cube with a rock. Big Country: You have a Highlander poster in a tube in the back of your closet. Soft Cell: You mouth the words when you watch Highlander. A-ha: You own a VCR with a copy of Highlander stuck in it. Survivor: You have cut a Nerf football in half to see what was inside. INXS: You have knocked someone over with an Aerobie. Thomas Dolby: You have used a laserdisc as a shaving mirror. Pet Shop Boys: You have woken up next to an empty bottle of Magic Shell. Mr. Mister: You have forgotten soup in the freezer and ice cream in the microwave on the same night. Wang Chung: You have a money clip with an amusement park logo printed on it. Bauhaus: You know what LARPing is. OMD: You have gone to a party dressed as a dark elf. Culture Club: You have woken up under someone who was dressed as a dark elf. Ministry: You have thrown up on someone who was dressed as a dark elf. Cocteau Twins: You have spilled Zima on someone who was dressed as a dark elf. Toni Basil: You have spilled Zima into a motel heating vent. The Pointer Sisters: You dot your i’s with hearts. The Pretenders: You are excellent at dodgeball. ABC: You were one of the first ten people in history to drop a cell phone in a toilet. Lionel Richie: You have shaved a word into your hair. The Cars: You have hit a whiffle ball with a fake lightsaber. Frankie Goes to Hollywood: You have woken up under your high school gym teacher. Joan Jett: You have woken up on top of your high school gym teacher. Simply Red: You have temporarily blinded someone by whipping your hair into them. Europe: You think Europe is Asia. Asia: You think Asia is Europe. REM: You minored in something. Cyndi Lauper: You have lost several silk scarves to escalators. Starship: You consistently pay for extra cheese at Subway. The Fixx: You have sunbathed in a suit. Phil Collins: You have worn shorts while accepting an award or diploma. Go-Go’s: Your favorite air freshener is Vanillaroma. Bananarama: Your favorite air freshener is New Car. Prince: You have used a hamster ball as a cocktail shaker. Depeche Mode: You have drawn Tintin or the Little Prince in the margin of a math test. Erasure: You have been caught kissing a copy of The Little Prince. Thompson Twins: You have been spanked with a copy of The Little Prince. Human League: You have been spanked with a VHS copy of The Neverending Story. The Clash: Your safety word is “Nicaragua.” Grace Jones: Your safety word is forty-seven syllables long. Brian Eno: Your safety word is “10011101.” Duran Duran: Your safety word is “Kim Wilde.” Kim Wilde: You have forgotten your safety word. <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what-your-favorite-80s-band-says-about-you">http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what ... -about-you</a><!-- m -->